R.I.P. Uncle Ronnie (1958 - 2007)

I aplogize for the lack of posts lately, but I have suffered a terrible tragedy, as my Uncle Ronnie (my hero) has passed away recently at the tender age of 48. I can't begin to express the sense of loss I feel right now at the thought of never being able to bask in Uncle Ronnie's warm glow again... a glow that had touched so many.

Ron-Ron was the best mailman that our town had ever seen and many feel that he was the best babysitter this world has ever seen. He had the ability to get along with anybody: kids, friends, strangers, old people, retards, and even blacks. Ronnie had many hobbies: he was the sensei at our local Dojo, he was a respected hair-stylist, and he produced some of the finest ice-sculptures these eyes have ever seen. And Ronnie had a huge dick, something that he loved to remind us of every Christmas.

And most of all, Ronnie was smart... Very smart!!! For instance, he refused to use a public-defender and chose instead to defend himself; beating not one, but two molestation charges. Further, last month my dog was very ill and began to refuse to take its thyroid medication. So what does my Uncle Ronnie do??? He makes a yogurt/medicine concoction and guess what... my dog began to take its medication and is now as healthy as a horse (the picture above was taken of Uncle Ronnie two weeks ago as he first attempted to give my dog its medication).

Uncle Ronnie: For saving my dog, for having such a big dick, for teaching my mom (your sister) how to have sex, for being the most popular guy in town, and for being so God-damn money... You are our honorary "Celeb of the Week."

R.I.P. you stud!!!