My boner dies with me

LONDON - Doctors shouldn't shy away from asking patients about their sex lives, a new research paper advises. Researchers say problems in the bedroom can translate into serious medical conditions, and ignoring sexual dysfunction may mean missing early indicators for heart failure, depression or other ailments, according to a paper published in Friday's issue of The Lancet.

Looks like I will be living until I am 130 years old, because the only dysfunction I have is an addiction to pleasing women. If Rocky Balboa fucked Barbaro (God rest his soul) and they had a son that would be me...the Italian Stallion. I mean doctors give me drugs to reduce the fierceness of my boner for fear that I may injure someone.

Who has ever heard of this sexual dysfunction bullshit? I think it is like Global Warming; just a myth so doctors and scientists can get more money for their "research", when all they are doing is staring at flaccid dongs and laughing at the men who possess them. I didn't go to medical school yet I know what a limp noodle looks like, and I also know that if my noodle was limp for more than 2 consecutive days I too would be depressed, so did we really need a study to tell us that! Luckily the only problem I have in the sack is deciding whether or not I'm going to wear a rub.

The day my boner dies is the day I stop living. I cannot imagine a world in which I cannot make my love and the world can no longer experience my love. That is not a world I want to live in. When, and if, my boner does die (probably at the age of 110) please take me behind the strip club, like a lame dog, and put me out of my misery.