"Usually you can tell if you're pregnant, but with me, I couldn't tell," the 39-year-old Garden Grove resident said Thursday, pointing to her belly and explaining that, at about 420 pounds, she was so large that no one – including herself – could tell she had carried a baby to term.If I were this woman’s doctor I might advise her to mix in a salad every once in awhile. I don’t have a medical degree but I can’t imagine it being too healthy when your legs look like manatees, you’re growing hair out of all your moles, and you can hide a baby in the fold of your stomach for nearly 9 months without noticing. I have so many questions; did she not find it strange that she craved whipped cream on her Big Mac or didn’t bleed from her slit for almost a year? How does one allow themselves to get so big? I mean I am a large man, but I always sack up and get a gym membership when my back pains prevent me from reaching around and wiping my ass, and when the sweat under my man tits begins to become noticeable on my Hawaiian shirts.
How would you like to be this kid? “My mommy said I was a miracle like baby Jesus, she went to make a poopy after her extra large pizza and there I was floating in her bedpan.” The real miracle is the fact that some dude was so hard up he rolled this beauty over, slipped up her muumuu, and went to town on her while she undoubtedly ate Snicker bars. I have always said big women are the best fucks, because they know they have to be dirty little sluts to keep getting laid, but this is taking it too far. With the BBW’s I was talking about you could at least lift their leg over your shoulder without wearing a back brace, and have them ride you without sustaining major pelvic injuries. I hope this kid likes giving sponge baths because he is in store for a life mending his mother’s bed sores, changing her bedpan, and stopping by In-and-Out Burger everyday after school.
