After 15 years of his torment, Mario Lopez has finally pushed me over the edge with the news that he will be hosting the Miss America Pageant. My hatred for this man has consumed me to the point that there aren't enough words in the world to describe the disdain I have for him. However, I will try my best.
The top 10 reasons why I wish A.C. Slater would die:
1) Because he always found a way to showcase the Slater Dance, which was a cross between the Roger Rabbit and a gay guy having a seizure.
2) The man has no identifiable ethnicity. Is the man Mexican? Is the man Filipino? I doubt he even knows!
3) His hairdo (he looked like a fucking poodle for God's sake).
4) Because he always sat on chairs backwards (who, other than Slater, has actually ever sat like that?).
5) For ruining the words "preppy" and "mama."
6) The man cried when his pet lizard Artie died.
7) He wasn't there to help when Jessie Spano almost killed herself by taking 3 caffeine pills.
8) For putting on a fucking leotard and proceeded to do countless pirouettes, all because he wanted to go to a football game.
9) Because the Slater I know would have never sold out and acted like a lady-boy in The Greg Louganis Story.
10)The man's initials actually stand for Albert Clifford... Why the hell would Ali Landry ever bone a dude named Clifford is beyond me?
Enjoy hosting your little award show Albert Clifford because if I ever see you, I will hog-tie you, strip you down to your man-thong, and fill up those dimples of yours with my man-juice!!!
1 comment:
that was the funniest posting I've read in quite awhile! so many people loved AC, but he just got on my damn nerves. the pseudo-mullet and machismo really pissed me off. uh-oh, am I then 2007 version of Jesse Spano? watch out caffeine pills....
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