Have you seen this man???

LONDON- British police said Friday they were hunting a man who stole a urinal from a pub toilet. The suspect walked into the Royal Oak pub in Southampton, on the English south coast, ordered half a pint of beer and then made several visits to the men's toilet. There he carefully removed a white urinal from the wall, stuffed it into a rucksack and was captured on closed circuit television walking out with the bulging sack on his back. "He made a very, very expert job of dismantling it from the wall and turning the water off. A very professional job," landlord Alan Dreja said.

As Friday night approaches, I find this story to be quite relevant.

Yeah, there are plenty of sick fucks out there. Some people collect dolls, while others collect baseball cards. My main man Buffalo Bill collected the skin of fat chicks in order to make a body suit. Hell, my buddy Dave (aka Clyde) collects every condom he has ever used (so far he has three). But you know your life sucks when you get caught with a pisser in a backpack and have your image all over the 'net. Tell me how you explain that to your buddies, let alone your parents? And what does dude do when he gets home with a pisser that thousands of drunk, uncut, European dongs have pissed into? My best guess is that his post-theft after-party includes the urinal, a bunch of lemonade, a bottle of Nivea lotion, and him choking himself out while "celebrates."

So as you drink this weekend, be sure to keep a look out for this dude and his backpack and mustache. In fact, be on the lookout for anybody this weekend with a mustache, because anybody with a 'stache in '07 is definitely up to no good!