Cause of Swedish infertility found

Swedish tax officials want former ABBA star Bjorn Ulvaeus to pay $2.1 million for undeclared royalties from the supergroup's hits dating back decades.

It is the second time the Swedish Tax Authority has claimed the 61-year-old singer dodged taxes by not declaring millions in royalties going back decades, officials said Thursday. Victor Palm, a tax official, said the former star was "paying less tax" than he should, adding that the authorities suspect royalty payments to Ulvaeus were made to companies operating in foreign tax havens.

Bjorn, Bjorn, Bjorn... Didn't your mom teach you the three most important rules in life: treat others with respect, pay your taxes, and never use your best french tickler in a glory hole.

Clearly, you don't respect others because of your shitty music and your haircut, which have jointly caused millions to become sterile for the past 30+ years. Needless to say, you don't pay your taxes. Hopefully, you haven't lost a french tickler at a glory hole... If you have, you have broken the three most important rules in life and are, in essence, worthless.

As far as the $2.1 million you owe the government... Consider it a small price to pay for getting to have sex with anyone in your lifetime.

Thanks for ruining my fucking day Bjorn by making me look at your fucking hair and that stupid fucking look on your face! And start paying your fucking taxes for crying out loud!!!