Old Chicks Rock!!!

LINZ, Austria - Firefighters said Monday they rescued an 81-year-old pensioner who spent four days stuck in her tub after she got in for a warm bath and couldn't muster enough strength to get out.

Firefighters told public broadcaster ORF the woman was in surprisingly good condition despite having been immersed in bath water since last Thursday evening. They said she told her rescuers she lacked the strength to get out of the tub and had knocked and shouted for help.

How ironic is it that a couple of days ago we write about Bob Barker still going strong at 83 years old on his strict regimen of bacon, vodka and fresh putang... and now we have a lady two years his junior that is too fucking lame to even get out of her bathtub. Who can't get out of a bathtub? Last time I looked, my bathtub was about a foot and a half high. What is she bathing in a fucking well?

Furthermore, who takes baths.. baths are soooo 1980's, when people found it amusing to take bubble baths and play all sorts of games like the Loch Ness Monster (when you pop a boner... let it rise above the bubbles... flex it a few times... making it look like Nessie). Or when you fromp (which is basically just farting in the tub and biting the resulting bubbles).

Regardless, I know how my hands look after about an hour of hot-tubbing... so I can only imagine what grandma's twat looked like after more than half of a week of casually soaking. I am guessing it looked like a hybrid of Jessica Tandy, a bulldog, and about a half-gallon of cottage cheese.