God gave us K-Fed

COLUMBUS, Ohio - Britney Spears no longer wants him as her husband and audiences have been cool to his attempt at a rap music career, but Kevin Federline has Nationwide on his side.

Nationwide Mutual Insurance Co., known for its "On Your Side" slogan, plans to run a national ad during the Super Bowl, and K-Fed has been tapped to star, the Columbus-based company announced Wednesday.

Let me make this very clear...I am a huge Kevin Federline fan! I would never hate on a man who exemplifies everything I believe in (unprotected sex, male alimony, and dancing). K-Fed, much like myself, is from a small California farming town who dared to dream big. What was this dream you ask? Oh nothing much, just a desire to shake our moneymakers to music while bandanas and wrist bands absorb the sweat from our brow. Yes it is true, I wanted to be a tiny dancer man but it was not to be as my bowed legs and portly physique made it very difficult for me to do the splits.

I can see why Nationwide Mutual Insurance Co. wants him to pimp their company, as the man is a perfect storm of talent with moves like Jordan Knight's and a voice like Marky Mark's. Is there anything this guy can't do? I mean he sings, he dances, produces children out of wedlock, and now he acts! Not to mention his impeccable style and marvelously groomed facial hair. Move over Wayne Brady you have company.