Girls go wild for speedo's

LOS ANGELES, Jan 22 (Reuters Life!) - The founder of "Girls Gone Wild" videos featuring young women who take off their tops was fined $500,000 on Monday for violating rules designed to prevent exploitation of minors.

This may surprise many DOL readers, but I am in complete agreement with this ruling. To follow around drunken teens is exploitive and I am very against exploitation, unless it involves the elderly. I can remember my Spring Break days at Lake Havasu; it was a free-for-all and boy did I clean up. The chickadees were mesmerized by my feathered hair and well filled out Speedo. I gave them what they wanted and I got what I needed, but don’t worry ladies I always had a box of rubbers in my Fanny-Pack.

The last thing I would want during this seduction process is some pervert with a camera immortalizing my mating dance (moving my pelvis back-and-forth as to slap my wang against my stomach) while I stared down my prey through my Ray-Bans. It sealed the deal every time. I WAS SUCH A FUCKING SUPERSTAR!

I digress...what kind of a sick pervert would follow around drunken sorority chicks and videotape them doing naughty things to each other. As a father, if I somehow happened to come across these tapes and saw my daughter and her sorority sisters doing bad things to each other I would probably become aroused, rub one off (I would stop during scenes involving my daughter), and then slap his ass with a lawsuit.