Mike Tyson is not sober

PHOENIX (AP) -- Mike Tyson was released from jail without bond on a felony drug possession charge Friday after an early-morning arrest in which Buckeye police said they found two bags of white powder in his back pocket.

"He admitted to using today and stated he is an addict and has a problem," according to a police probable cause statement filed in Maricopa County Superior Court. "Mike admitted to possessing bags of cocaine and said he uses any time he can get his hands on it."

Mike Tyson is addicted to drugs? What am I going to learn next; Clay Aiken is gay? I mean is this even news worthy? The man was sent to jail for doing naughty things to Miss Black America, threatened to eat the children of one of his opponents, and oh yeah, he bit the fucking ear off another human being. Cocaine is the least of his worries. I would, however, suggest developing a more cost effective habit, like say crack, so he can save up enough money to get that fucking growth removed from his head and still pay child support for his 7 kids. You would think after his fourth kid from three different women that “Iron” Mike might think about slipping a rain coat on that anaconda, but no, Mikey doesn’t roll like that.

I can’t blame him though; Had I been born with a port-wine birthmark and a lisp, I too might be a tad bit angry.