Lawmakers obviously don't have style

CINCINNATI (Reuters) - Lawmakers in Ohio said on Wednesday they want to force convicted sex offenders to use a fluorescent-green license plate on their cars so they can be easily identified.

This is bullshit! I live in Akron, OH so you can bet I will fight to stop this law from passing. In addition to being discriminatory, prejudicial, and unconstitutional it is also impractical…I mean do you know how silly my brown 1987 Chevy El Camino will look with a florescent green license plate? I have spent the better part of the past 19 years pimping my ride out. I have worked numerous jobs (substitute teacher, swim instructor, librarian) to put in sweet white leather seats, a kickin sound system, I even have a hilarious license plate frame that says “My Other Car is a Porsche”, but the icing on the cake is a Cleveland Browns helmet on my antenna that I got from McDonalds. I can’t, I won’t stand for any law that is going to ruin my masterpiece. Florescent yellow or orange I could work with because they contrast nicely with the fecal brown of my El Camino, but florescent green is plain ugly and unjust!

Sure, I did some things in the past that some may view as “wrong” or “disgusting” or “predatory”, but do they really need to go and mess up my wheels? Is it not enough that I have to go introduce myself to all my neighbors whenever mother moves, I can’t walk my bichon frise Macaulay by any schools or parks, and I have to get monthly shots to make my testicles look like prunes?