And I thought I was horny?!?!

HONG KONG- A 107-year-old Hong Kong villager, who still enjoys an occasional smoke, has attributed his longevity in part to decades of sexual abstinence, a newspaper said on Sunday.

"I don't know why I have lived this long," Chan Chi -one of Hong Kong's oldest people -was quoted as saying in the South China Morning Post during an annual feast for the city's elders. "Maybe it has to do with the fact that I have lived a sex-less life for many years - since I was 30," said Chan, a widower whose youthful bride perished during the Japanese invasion in World War Two.

A former chef, he said a low-fat diet and regular dawn exercises had helped him fight off the ravages of old age.

Ladies, there isn't one of you out there who wouldn't have sex with this man!!! You know it, I know it, and Chan sure as hell knows it. And imagine, this picture was taken of Chan 45 years ago at his birthday party (during his "prime"), when he was a young and horny 62-year old sex-pot. I mean, just look at the way he is looking at the camera... he doesn't care what you think because he is naked, just drank a little beer, and he knows he can fuck anything that walks. Hell, Chan could fuck the camera itself if he wanted to just because it took his picture. Why? Because Chan is that fucking sexy!

Problem is... CHAN DON'T FUCK!!! Why don't Chan fuck? Now that is the million dollar question!

Perhaps it's because he doesn't want to hurt his partner... I mean, what are asian men know for other than being good at Algebra and having huge cocks? Perhaps it's because no bitches are worthy of his dong. After all, that picture was taken 45 years ago (and 10,518 bowls of rice ago), so one could only imagine how sexy he is after letting gravity do its thing for another 4+ decades.

Regardless, Chan: enjoy your last few years on Earth and tear that nursing home a new one... Break out the boxed wine, the Viagra, put Cocoon on the big screen, and fuck those old bitches until they make you cum... because Lord knows you have a load in your pants that is the size of Lake Michigan!!!