Chilling with grandma can be fun

LINCOLN, Neb. - Lincoln police said a 50-year-old woman was charged Tuesday with child abuse and criminal mischief after having her 12-year-old granddaughter drive her to her niece's house, where the grandma broke five windows.

Finnell said police arrested Britton when she came back to the neighborhood more than an hour later. Police found Britton drunk and belligerent in the car with the 12-year-old behind the wheel, Finnell said.

Bear with me as my math is terrible, but if this 50-year-old woman is drinking, smoking, and vandalizing shit with her 12-year-old granddaughter that means she became a grandmother at 38 years young. If we take into account the average age of ovulation, add a few years for an obligatory meth addiction, and assuming someone would not impregnate a bitch with dentures (which is assuming a lot) we can use the median age of tooth decay in Nebraska to estimate the age of the childs mother to be around 21; meaning this granny was 17 when she gave birth to what surely is one healthy, grounded, and stable woman. Do you follow?

If this bitch is bonding with her granddaughter by tying one on and throwing rocks at windows I can only imagine what she did with her own daughter during her "prime"...Group orgies, freebasing, possibly armed robbery?

I don’t know how they do it on the Nebraskan Indian Reservations, but where I am from teenage pregnancy is frowned upon for this exact reason. I realize she probably got saucy on “fire water” and fell under the spell of the tribal shaman, but come on; it is the responsibility of the woman to make sure the dude always wears a tipi, as any self-respecting Native is going to prefer it Geronimo style.