Farting is dangerous

NORTH PLATTE, Neb. - Brian Bruggeman caused a stink at the Lincoln County Jail earlier this month and will now have to answer for it in court. Another inmate, Jesse Dorris, alleges that Bruggeman's flatulence, passed in close proximity to Dorris, sparked a Dec. 14 fight between the two at the jail.

An attorney later added: "Jail fights are common, but the cause of this one was rather uncommon. It's usually about someone hogging the newspaper or someone not happy about what's on TV,"

Talking about being wound a bit too tight. Hell, if I got my ass kicked everytime I let one loose, I wouldn't make it through my first quarter-mile on a treadmill (Side note: Does anybody else have to turn down the volume on their ipods when on a treadmill in fear of letting out an audible fart?).

But after reading the story, I am no longer afraid of doing hard-time. I definitely think I could survive due to my innate ability to not hog the newspaper, complain about what's on the tube, or fart. See... I was always worried about the public ass-rapings, getting assaulted for my salisbury steak, and the ability of the imprisoned Nazi-youth to make Samurai swords out of toothpaste and sawdust.

This jail shit is for the birds!!!